Gertrude lives and breathes mediocrity. Her late husband, a war veteran, was a Detroit auto-worker for over 40 years. Shortly before his retirement, Gertrude and her husband won a $315 million lottery jackpot, only to lose it after depositing the payout in a Nigerian bank.

Now living on social security augmented by food stamps, Gertrude earns extra money selling her baked goods at church bazaars. Recently, Gertrude made $500.00 by selling her famed cookie recipe to a major international food conglomerate. Gertrude has submitted countless articles to The Economist and Foreign Policy magazines, but has never been published.

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